"Hi! I'm Billy Bob Goldstein."

I left off with this profound brick in my face, and this left me with the question, "Why did I convert to Christianity?"

It took me a while to remember the logic behind that decision; because of all the drugs over the years my memory is holey. And I have tried to come up with a short way to explain this, but have not yet, so get ready for another long one.

I was born Jewish in Michigan where there is a solid Jewish community and Michiganites tend to have a leave you alone attitude. This meant it wasn't hard being different up there. When I was 7 my mother moved us to Oklahoma, where I still reside. The religion that makes up about 90% of this great state is Christian and most of that is Baptist and Evangelical. We as a culture are pretty laid back except for one's faith. If you aren't Christian you need to be saved. That makes being Jewish rough.

My experience with Christianity up to this point in the story had lead me to Hate the religion as a whole. Think about it, if every day of your life from 7 to 24 you're told by a certain group that you are wrong and and they're right; and then you go home where you're told they're wrong and you're right; wouldn't that just screw you up? My mother to this day refers to Christians as cults (we don't talk much about faith).

Remember I just read that the main dude of another religion came for me! So I talked to Dan. He once again asks me to go to this Bible study group thing. Further enticing me with the fact that the guy that leads it knows the Bible backwards and forwards, and the Old Testament better then most Rabis. So I go.

I have never been one for theatrics, snake handling or cutting oneself in the name of JC. It was held at the preacher's house, which a preacher he wasn't, and the entire congregation didn't number more than 50 (that night about 5). When we got there every one was nice and looked normal, but during the opening prayer they spoke in tongues. God was the only thing that kept me from bolting right then! I can't remember what the sermon was on, but I know I got a lot out of it. The major thing that came from this is that I started reading the Bible cover to cover. I needed to know if this was the Truth.

Now to explain the title: There is this comedian named Steven Wright. And he has this joke that I think goes nicely with the fact that I'm a Jew in Oklahoma. It goes like this.

I was riding the bus the other day and a beautiful Asian girl sat down next to me. After a while she turned to me and said, "I find Jewish Cowboys really Hot!"

I replied, "Hi! I'm Billy Bob Goldstein."